


never felt magic crazy as this

by zornslemon



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Five Times, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-17 23:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5889970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zornslemon/pseuds/zornslemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Allura told Kima she loved her and one time she meant it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	never felt magic crazy as this

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Femslash February, everyone! I figured in honor of the event and in honor of getting some Allura backstory in last week's episode, I'd write a piece about my favorite not quite canon Critical Role ship.
> 
> As always, thanks to Attila for betaing this fic. The title comes from the song "Northern Sky" (the song for Allura on Matthew Mercer's playlist).

Allura’s never thought of herself as particularly cool. Much the opposite, she’s always sort of thought of herself as the shy girl reading spellbooks and trying to make her own bags of holding in her spare time. Still, she has to admit that somewhere between deciding to join a party of adventurers and entering this wizard’s tower, she’s become at least a little cool, because right now, she might be the only thing stopping her party from being completely obliterated.

They’ve been in battles before, but fighting monsters and the occasional bandit is nothing like this. The wizard who’s been destroying this town is smart, and his arcane powers are even stronger than hers. Kima’s swiping at him with her sword, but all it’s doing is making her a bigger target for his spells. (It would be ironic, given Kima’s size, but she’s always had a way of seeming larger than life. The greatsword probably helps.)

They’re all looking a little rough when Allura manages to fire off a spell that actually silences the wizard. He flails for a few seconds, clearly taken aback, giving Kima an opening to smite him and leave him unconscious.

“Nice job with that spell, Allie,” Kima says, turning back towards her, a little out of breath. “I kind of love you for that.”

“Well, I love you for finishing him off before I burned through all my magic,” Allura says, and she tries to ignore the way her face flushes when she says it.

\---

It’s weird the way that her party becomes a second family. It happens gradually over days of arguing over who will take the first watch at night and studying spells with Drake and trying to figure out if any of them actually speak Elvish well when they spend a few weeks in an elven city. One day, Allura wakes up and realizes that she can’t imagine life without these people, and she can’t help but feel relieved that for once in her life, she’s not lonely.

And then there’s Kima. It’s not that Allura cares more about Kima than the rest of the party, because she loves them all dearly, but she can’t help but feel like there’s something special about Kima. It’s Kima’s determination that really amazes Allura, since she’s spent so much of her own life being the soft-spoken, reasonable one. Kima, though, does everything wholeheartedly, whether she’s slaying monsters or just arguing with the local blacksmith who made a snide comment about whether such a small woman can wield such a big sword.

So of course when the party is preparing to fight an honest to goodness dragon for the first time, it’s Kima who gives the party a rousing speech to remind them that they’ve prepared for this and that they’re the only ones who can make this dragon pay for all the townspeople he killed, and focusing on Kima’s words is the only thing that keeps Allura from being scared out of her mind.

She sticks close behind Kima as they near the dragon’s lair, even though, tactically speaking, she’d be better off staying towards the back of the group. She just feels more confident with Kima close by.

“Thank you for what you said earlier,” Allura tells her as they walk, and she wants to say something nice about how much it helped, but she doesn’t really have her wits about her, and she just blurts out the next thing she thinks. “I love you.”

Kima stops walking abruptly and turns around to face Allura. She stands on her tiptoes and grabs Allura’s shoulders, pulling her down into a kiss.

Drake whistles. Kima pulls away from the kiss and glares at him.

“So, uh, we were going to fight a dragon,” Ghenn says.

Kima’s hands go to her greatsword. “That asshole doesn’t stand a chance.”

\---

In a way, being with Kima doesn’t really change anything. Their party is still a party, and traveling with four other people doesn’t afford the two of them much privacy. (Except, of course, on the nights where Kima pitches a tent and tells the rest of the party that they had better not come in unless they’re under direct attack.) Allura cherishes those nights, but she cherishes the time she spends with the rest of the party too.

When they’re in battle, she doesn’t think about how much she cares about the rest of the party, and she certainly doesn’t think about Kima. By now, she’s too well trained and far too disciplined to let her emotions get in the way when she fights. Instead, she focuses only on how the enemy needs to be weakened and what spell would be most effective until the danger has passed. Afterwards, sometimes, it will hit her that her girlfriend could have died, but mostly, she tries not to worry. Kima can take care of herself.

They can all take care of themselves, really, which is why they’re drawing the attention of local governments and prominent organizations. Allura’s starting to get used to being well renowned, but she’s still surprised when the Arcana Pansophical decides that her party should be the ones to finish the binding ritual for Thordak. Maybe it’s just because the idea of going up against a dragon that’s too old to just be ancient seems preposterous even for seasoned adventurers, but Allura’s gut feeling is that they can’t pull this off.

But she runs the plan to trap Thordak in the Elemental Plane of Fire by every good arcanist she knows, and they all agree. It will be risky, but it’s going to work.

(Allura tries not to think about how it will be especially risky for Kima, who’s the one who will be drawing most of Thordak’s fire, but she can’t help it.)

As they head out to Pyrah to enter the Elemental Plane of Fire, Allura grabs Kima’s hand and says, “Kima, I don’t know how this is going to go, but whatever happens today, just know that I love you.”

Kima squeezes her hand. “This is the right thing to do, Allie.”

“I know. Just stay safe, okay?”

Kima smiles. “I’m the one with the shiny armor. You’re the one who needs to stay safe.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Neither of them speaks for a moment, and then Kima softly says, “Just watch your back when you’re doing the ritual. I love you too.”

\---

Kima makes it, and Drake makes it. Sirus, Dohla, and Ghenn aren’t so lucky. Allura will never forget the sight of Kima standing in the middle of the Elemental Plane of Fire, desperately trying to cast healing spells on bodies too charred for it to matter.

None of them sleep that night. Instead, they sit awake, not saying much of anything, Kima and Allura curled up together on one side of the tent, Drake on the other.

A few hours before dawn, Allura tells Kima, “Whatever happens next, at least I’ll have you. I still love you.” It’s more to reassure herself than anything.

Kima nuzzles in closer but doesn’t say anything.

\---

They’re heroes in Tal’Dorei, and Allura tries to seem happy during the celebrations held in their honor, but it’s hard. It’s not just that she’s still grieving the loss of her party members. It’s that she isn’t sure what she should do next. Drake already has plans to go back to Kraghammer, and she still has Kima, but that’s not enough. She can’t be an adventurer without a party.

So when Uriel offers her a spot on the Council of Emon, it just seems right. After all, her goal as a sorceress has always been to protect the realm. Maybe she’s reached a point where she can help more by aiding Uriel than by slaying monsters herself.

“So we’re on the council now,” she tells Kima that night in the room they’re sharing at the nicest tavern they could find.

“Yeah,” Kima says, sounding surprisingly halfhearted.

“What’s wrong?” Allura asks, even though it feels like a stupid question now when nearly everything is wrong.

“You’re going to be great on the council, Allie,” Kima says. “You really are.”

“And so are you,” Allura says.

Kima shakes her head. “No, I’m not. I can’t stay here.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What I’ve always done. Slay monsters, save the day, all that good stuff.”

“By yourself?”

Kima shrugs. “For now, I guess. I can call on my order if I need help, and I hope I can get your help if I ever get into magic-related trouble.”

“Of course,” Allura says. She sighs and says, “So what does this mean for us?”

“I don’t know if there can be an us anymore,” Kima says. “I love you, Allie, I really do, but some things are more important.”

Allura sighs again. “I love you too, and, as much as it pains me to say it, I understand.”

\---

She’s learned by now not to worry about Kima. For one thing, these days, by the time she hears about Kima’s adventures, it’s usually too late to do anything. For another thing, she’s known Kima long enough to know that she has a way of getting herself out of even the toughest situations.

Still, when she hears that Kima’s been stirring up trouble in Kraghammer and has most likely been kidnapped by duergar, she can’t help but worry. She thinks that Vox Machina should be able to bring Kima back just fine, but, as capable as they are, the whole situation is unsettling. (It doesn’t help that when she looks at Vox Machina, she can’t help but be reminded of another young group of adventurers, and she can’t help but wonder if they’ll meet the same end.)

So when Vox Machina shows up at her tower with a seemingly safe and sound Kima, Allura all but loses her composure. For a moment, she stares at Kima, who, in her golden, gleaming armor, still carries herself like she’s far larger than any halfling could be, and then she can’t restrain herself, and she pulls Kima in tight, lifting her off her feet. She notices that she’s tearing up, and normally she tries to seem more poised than this, but right now, she can’t bring herself to care.

“I was so worried about you,” she says as she puts Kima down, hoping that Kima will know she means.


End file.
